No Judgment – No Questions
What happens at breakfast, stays at breakfast.
Let us jump right in… there comes a time in every relationship when one must face the morning after.
The sun is up. Coffee has been poured.
Everyone is pretending things are perfectly normal.
But, there are questions.
What happened last night? Were good decisions made?
And, most importantly, is anyone planning to finish that sausage?
I have found it best not to judge.
After all, people come to the Inn for all sorts of reasons. Anniversaries. Birthdays. Romantic getaways. The occasional escape from children who, I am told, are “absolutely wonderful” and also apparently require several states of separation.
What happens behind closed doors is none of my business.
I am a professional.
That said, what happens at breakfast, however, falls squarely within my jurisdiction.
Practice Discretion.
The morning after requires discretion.
By 8:30, everyone has gathered.
There is coffee, conversation and most importantly, there are plates containing items of considerable interest.
This is not the time to appear overeager.
A gentleman does not hover. He does not beg.
And he most certainly does not sit directly beside the breakfast table staring at someone’s plate like an animal.
Have some dignity.
Maintain a Respectable Distance.
Under the table is too obvious and beside the table looks desperate.
Standing nearby and staring suggests you have an agenda.
You do not have an agenda.
Therefore, I recommend approximately four feet of separation.
Lie down. Get comfortable. Perhaps expose your belly.
Give every indication that you have absolutely no interest in the proceedings. Then wait.
This is particularly important during breakfast at the Main Street Inn, when multiple courses create multiple opportunities for an otherwise perfectly respectable breakfast item to find itself unexpectedly unattended.
These things happen.
Keep What You Hear to Yourself.
The breakfast table is a place of confidence.
You may hear things.
“We probably shouldn’t have…” “I can’t believe we…” “Do you remember when…”
These are not invitations to participate. You must maintain professional confidentiality.
I have personally overheard years of breakfast conversations and can assure you that I remember absolutely none of them.
Unless someone mentions bacon. Then I remember everything.
Manage Your Expectations.
The morning after does not always end the way one hopes.
Sometimes there is sausage.
Other times there is French toast.
On occasion a tiny piece of egg escapes the plate and lands precisely where fate intended.
And sometimes, its nothing. This, of course, is difficult.
But maturity means accepting disappointment without making a scene.
Therefore, remain composed and continue lying on the floor.
Consider looking slightly weaker than you did five minutes ago.
A small sigh is acceptable.
Know When It’s Over.
Eventually, chairs move. Napkins are folded. Plates disappear.
And another breakfast comes to an end.
At this point, one must resist the temptation to dwell on what might have been.
There will be other mornings, another breakfast, and definitely more opportunities.
A professional understands this.
Final Observation.
When the morning after arrives, remember:
Say nothing.
Judge no one.
Position yourself strategically.
And whatever happened last night… never leave before breakfast.
INN Purr-spective
Mr. Ray (of Sunshine)
Editor-in-Chief | Bow-Tied Boss | Director of Guest Amusement
#MrRayReports
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