Naked in Parkville
a Gentlecat’s Descent, Disappearance, and Dapper Return
It’s mid-April and the thaw is complete, hopefully.
I am once again fully operational… sun-warmed, whiskers relaxed, and fur fluffed to seasonal standards. The brick at the Main Street Inn no longer radiates Arctic hostility. For those who followed my Winter Porch Watch, you’ll recall that January was far less eventful. But now, spring has arrived in Parkville, and with it… scandal.
The Double Disappearance
Let us address it directly. One morning, I left the house in full fashion. Red leather bow tie, centered, secure and commanding.
And then, I returned… Naked. Yup, no collar, no bow tie, and no evidence.
To this day, we do not know how it happened, as there were no signs of struggle. No loose hardware. No suspicious shrubbery confessions. I offered no statement, as a gentleman does not speculate publicly.
Naturally, Kathy panicked, and as a result, there was a search of the yard. The porch. The bushes. The immediate emotional landscape. Nothing.
And so, in what I can only describe as a low moment in our household’s fashion history… she resorted to “the old glasses.”
Yes. The old no-bow-tie collar. The pre-dapper era. The transitional phase. The collar that says, He once had potential.
Of course, I wore it under protest. Then… low and behold… That one disappeared as well. I will not elaborate, nor will I confirm or deny anything.
What I will say is this: there were no repairs. No dramatic engineering intervention. No clasp reinforcements forged in the workshop. Eventually, after lengthy email exchanges, new ones were on order. Plural. Because when a gentleman’s signature accessory vanishes not once, but twice, one does not “fix.” One upgrades. Madison Street Leather are masters of the craft; however, the USPS… not so much! It took F.O.R.E.V.E.R.
Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the delivery arrived. Expectations were high. Boxes opened. Leather gleamed, and I emerged reborn.
Although… I am still waiting on the leather fedora he promised…
A Dapper Return
And now, onto the standard dispatch news: Spring sunlight hit the new red just right yesterday afternoon as I resumed porch supervision. Guests smiled. A breeze lifted the edge just enough to suggest movement without chaos.
The daffodils approved. Meanwhile, the birds remain untrustworthy. Still, I remain vigilant.
As for the wardrobe, it is once again secure. At last, I am fully thawed, fully dressed, and fully aware that somewhere in Parkville lies a small collection of retired collars.
If found, please return to management. Or don’t.
Until July…
Remain mysterious | Remain centered | Remain slightly unaccountable.
INN Purr-spective
Mr. Ray (of Sunshine)
Bow-Tied Boss | Local Icon | Treat Strategist
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